How to Plan a Funeral
Planning a funeral can feel overwhelming, especially if it’s your first time doing so and you're trying to save money. However, with the right steps, you can plan a respectful, meaningful service without breaking the bank. Emotions can cloud decision-making when planning a funeral, and it can lead to overspending or making choices that might not align with what the deceased would have wanted or what is necessary. It’s a delicate balance between honoring the person’s memory and keeping practical, financial considerations in mind.
Understand the Basics
Funeral Costs: Funerals can be expensive, with typical costs ranging from $10,000 to $20,000, depending on the type of service and location. The price often includes things like embalming, a casket, a service, transportation, and cemetery costs.
Legal Requirements: Funerals are governed by local laws. There are no legal requirements to have a formal funeral, embalming, or a costly casket. You can opt for a simple cremation or burial.
Set a Budget
Set a clear budget early on and commit to it. Determine how much you can afford or how much the family is willing to spend. Knowing your budget upfront will help you avoid overspending. This will help prevent impulse decisions that might feel good in the moment but aren’t financially sound in the long run. Prioritize what’s most important, like transportation, service, or a gravesite, and allocate funds accordingly.
You can still have a meaningful service without splurging on expensive caskets, flowers, or a luxury venue. Ask yourself, “Is this necessary for honoring the person?” Consider the essence of the service. What kind of memorial would the deceased have wanted? A large lavish affair might not have been their style. It’s easy to get caught up in what you think is expected, but often, the most meaningful moments come from simple acts and honoring the person’s life.
Choose the elements that reflect the person’s values and personality—whether that's a quiet gathering with loved ones or a small service that focuses on specific rituals or values.
Pre-plan and Research
Compare Prices: Different funeral homes may have vastly different prices. Shop around and get quotes from several funeral homes to see where you can get the best deal. Location, location, location means exactly what real estate agents will tell you. It is no different for the location of your final resting spot.
Online Resources: Some websites allow you to compare prices and plan funerals online, which may be cheaper and more convenient.
Direct Cremation or Burial: These are typically less expensive options and do not require a formal service. You can arrange for a memorial service later or hold one without the funeral home’s involvement. This option is one of the least expensive options.
Avoid Rushed Decisions
Take time to think through options. Often, when emotions are high, people feel pressured to make decisions quickly. If possible, give yourself space to reflect and avoid acting hastily in a moment of grief. Ask for input from others but set boundaries if too many opinions overwhelm you. Ultimately, it's about honoring the deceased in the way that feels most true to them
Consider Cremation
Cremation tends to be much cheaper than a traditional burial, as it eliminates costs like embalming, a casket, and a cemetery plot.
You can still have a memorial service with cremation, and the ashes can be stored in an urn or scattered in a place that was meaningful to the deceased.
Stick to Your Values
Stay grounded in what the person valued most. Did they prioritize simplicity, spirituality, or family? Let those values guide decisions rather than fleeting emotions or societal expectations.
If you know the deceased wanted to keep things simple, remind yourself of their wishes when you start getting pulled into bigger, more expensive options.
Seek Support from an Objective Third Party
Sometimes, a funeral director or planner can offer helpful advice that focuses on practicality rather than emotions. If you’re feeling unsure, lean on a professional who can help you see through the haze of grief and guide you with experience.
Look for a Green Burial
A green burial is an eco-friendly, simple burial that avoids embalming chemicals and expensive caskets. It’s less expensive and involves using biodegradable materials. Look for cemeteries that offer this option.
Donating your body to science is another option. However, with that option, please remember that you will receive your loved one back for either a burial or cremation. Please don’t think that once you donate your body, that it is over and done with. They could keep your body for up to a year and once they are finished, they return you to your loved one for a proper disposition.
Skip the Expensive Extras
Casket and Urn: Funeral homes often markup caskets and urns significantly. You can buy them online, from a third-party retailer, or through discount services. Many people choose a simple wooden or cardboard casket, or an urn made from basic materials.
Flowers and Decorations: Opt for fewer flowers or ask for donations to charity in lieu of floral arrangements.
Funeral Service: Consider holding the service in a non-traditional venue like a community center, home, or place of worship, rather than paying for an elaborate funeral home chapel. You can even do it in a park or a meaningful spot.
DIY or Personalize the Service
Officiant: Instead of hiring a professional officiant, ask a friend, family member, or clergy you know to lead the service.
Order of Service: You can create your own funeral programs or cards, saving on printing costs.
Music and Tribute Videos: You can set up a playlist or a slideshow of memories rather than hiring a musician or videographer.
Consider Funeral Insurance or a Pre-paid Plan
Some people purchase funeral insurance or pre-pay for their funeral arrangements to save money in the long run. This can also ease the financial burden on family members after the fact.
Check for Veteran or Social Security Benefits
If the deceased was a veteran or qualified for Social Security, there may be death benefits available that can help offset some of the funeral expenses. Be sure to head over to my Resource section for a direct link to the Veteran’s website.
Ask About Payment Plans
If you need to cover funeral costs but don’t have the full amount up front, many funeral homes offer payment plans that let you pay over time. Be sure to ask about any interest rates or fees.
Ask Yourself Practical Questions
What is the best way to honor this person’s life in a way that feels respectful but doesn’t break the bank?
Is this expense necessary, or is there a more affordable way to achieve the same result?
What will the deceased have valued most in this situation?
By keeping these things in mind, you can make thoughtful decisions that honor both the deceased and your financial limits. It’s about finding that balance—paying respect without letting emotions dictate unnecessary expenditures. By carefully planning and making informed choices, you can have a dignified funeral without overspending.
Get more helpful resources for planning a funeral on my blog. Plus, visit my store for all my end-of-life and funeral planning tools.